Escape to Paradise: Luxury Spa & Rural Apartments in Llanes, Spain
Escape to Paradise: Llanes, Spain - My Confessions from a Luxury Spa Getaway (and the Occasional Tantrum)
Alright, let's be real. "Luxury Spa & Rural Apartments" in Llanes? Sounds dreamy, right? Well, it was. Mostly. But paradise, like a good paella, has layers, and sometimes you get a little too much salt.
First off, the name. "Escape to Paradise"? Bold. I'm a sucker for a good promise, and the photos? Gorgeous. Rolling green hills, that dramatic Asturian coastline… I was sold. And, mostly, it delivered.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag…and a Few Stumbles.
Okay, the thing about "accessibility" is… sometimes it's there, and sometimes it's a polite suggestion. Overall, they did a decent job. Wheelchair accessible? Yes, sort of. The main areas are generally okay, but navigating the rural apartments themselves felt a bit like a treasure hunt. Some ramps were a little too steep, and I swear, one cobblestone path was conspiring against me. Maybe I need to hit the gym/fitness more. Which, by the way, they do have…
The Food: A Delicious, Complicated Love Affair.
The restaurants! Ah, my weakness. A la carte in restaurant options were plentiful, covering everything from traditional Western cuisine to…a surprisingly decent attempt at Asian cuisine. (Who knew Llanes was a hotbed of authentic Pad Thai?!) The Asian breakfast was a bold move, but it mostly worked. The buffet in restaurant was a glorious, carb-laden explosion of deliciousness. I’m talking mountains of pastries and more coffee/tea in restaurant than any human being should consume.
The Poolside bar? Mandatory. Order the sangria. Trust me. But here’s the thing – the service, while generally friendly, was a little… relaxed. One day, I waited almost an hour for a simple bottle of water. An hour! I almost went full "Karen" (not proud, but the sun was beating down, and I was thirsty).
The Spa: Where I Achieved Peak Relaxation (and Became a Rubber Duckie)
Now, this is where the magic happened. The Spa… oh, the spa. Let me paint a picture: The pool with view overlooking the valley. A sauna so hot, you'll swear you've entered a different dimension. The steamroom… pure, glorious cloud of humid bliss. I spent what felt like an eternity in there. And the massages? Heavenly. Truly. I had a Body scrub, a Body wrap, the works. One massage therapist even got me so relaxed, I think I may have snored. Loudly. I can't confirm nor deny.
The best part? The little rubber ducky they give you upon arrival. I named him "Patagonia" (don’t ask). I took him everywhere with me.
Room for Improvement (and a Little Rant…)
Okay, here's where things get a little less sparkly. The Internet access – LAN? Gone. The Internet? Spotty. Thank goodness for the Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! but sometimes the connections were like chasing a phantom. This is a luxury resort, people! I need to Instagram my avocado toast in peace!
The Rooms sanitized between stays? Good. This is the new normal, and thank goodness for it. The Anti-viral cleaning products? Reassuring. The overall cleanliness and safety? Excellent. But, and this is a big BUT…
The "Rural Apartments" – Rustic Charm or Just Plain Old?
The apartments themselves. They were…rustic. Let's go with that. They were "charming" in the way a slightly rickety antique chair is charming. The seating area in my apartment was a bit tired. The sofa felt like it had seen better decades. The carpeting…well, let's just say it showed the wear and tear of countless sandal-clad feet. The linens, however, were crisp and clean! The Extra long bed was a huge plus!
The "Things to Do": Beyond the Bliss
Beyond swimming and the spa, there are actual things to do! The Fitness center is decent (although I mostly just used it to justify eating more pastries). The area around Llanes is GORGEOUS – hiking, beaches, exploring the charming town itself. They even have a little Convenience store if you forget your essentials, like… well, more wine.
The Amenities and Services: The Little Things That Matter
Okay, let's talk about the good stuff. The Breakfast in room? Excellent! The Air conditioning in public area? Genius! The Daily housekeeping? Godsend! The Laundry service? Necessary after all that spa-ing. The 24-hour room service? Perfect for late-night snack attacks (which, let's face it, are a given). The Concierge was super friendly and helpful.
The Annoyances (Because Nothing's Perfect)
The Smoke alarms went off at 3 am one night. False alarm, thankfully, but I swear I nearly had a heart attack. The lack of pets allowed… I get it, but also… sad face. (I miss my dog.)
The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Absolutely. Despite the few hiccups, the pros far outweigh the cons. This place is a sanctuary, a place to recharge, and a place to indulge (guilt-free, mostly). The spa is worth the price of admission alone. Just…bring your own super-strong Wi-Fi booster, and maybe a sturdy pair of slippers for navigating the "rustic" parts. And Patagonia. Don’t forget Patagonia.
SEO & Metadata Snippets:
- Title: Escape to Paradise: Llanes, Spain - A Luxury Spa Review (With Honest Confessions)
- Keywords: Luxury Spa Llanes, Llanes Spa, Asturian Coast, Spa Hotel Spain, Rural Apartments Llanes, Spa Review, Luxury Getaway Spain, Spa with Pool, Spa Treatments, Massage, Fitness Center, Western cuisine, restaurants, etc.
- Description: My honest review of Escape to Paradise, a luxury spa & rural apartments in Llanes, Spain. Spa treatments, restaurants, accessibility, and the raw truth about my getaway!
- Metadata:
accessibility: wheel chair accessible, facilities for disabled guestsamenities: pool, spa, wifi, restaurants, laundry serviceroom_features: non-smoking rooms, air conditioning, balcony/terracedining: restaurants, bar, breakfastactivities: spa, pool, fitness center, near hiking, etc.geography: Llanes, Asturias, Spaintags: Reviews, Travel, Spain, Spa, Luxury, Getaway, Honest, Food,
- Focus Keywords: Luxury Spa Llanes, Llanes Spa Review
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized brochure itinerary. This is me dragging you – kicking and screaming, if necessary – to the Apartamentos Rurales & Spa Antilles Playa Llanes, Spain. Prepare for glorious chaos.
Trip of a Lifetime (Probably, Unless I Manage to Set Fire to Something)
Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and Attempted Relaxation (Spoiler: Failed)
- Morning (Actually, VERY Late Morning): The flight from…well, let's just say a place far, far away… was a disaster. Delayed. Lost luggage (probably still circling in a warehouse somewhere). And I swear, the guy in front of me clipped his toenails the entire time. I landed in Asturias airport, already half-crazed. The rental car? Tiny. So tiny, it looked like a clown car. My luggage (eventually found. No, not really.) barely fit. I started questioning all life choices.
- Afternoon: Finally, FINALLY, made it to Llanes. The drive was gorgeous, the scenery…breathtaking. Okay, I was so stressed about navigating the Spanish roads I barely registered it. Found the freaking Apartamentos! Thank God. Check-in was smooth (miracle!). The apartment? Well, it's rustic. Think "charming" with a heavy emphasis on "rust." The "view" is mostly of the communal parking lot. Sigh.
- Evening: Deep breaths. Spa time! Yes! Massive letdown. The 'Spa' was okay. Sauna was hot. Relaxed? Not really. I found myself constantly checking my phone for emails. Is this it, or are we missing something? Dinner at a little tapas place in Llanes. The croquetas were AMAZING. The waiter, however, seemed to regard me with pity. Or maybe it was just the sheer state of my clothes that day. I miss my comfy sweatpants. Crawled into bed, hoping the sound of the waves (which I can barely hear) would lull me to sleep. Spoiler alert: It didn't.
Day 2: Beach Day, Bewilderment, and Backfiring Intentions.
- Morning (Early-ish, for me): The sun actually peeked its head out! Beach day! Got my act together, packed a bag, and walked my sorry, jet-lagged self to Playa de Poo. It was… gorgeous. Seriously stunning. The water sparkled, the cliffs were dramatic, there were even some cute little dogs running around. I sat there and tried to be a beach goddess.
- Afternoon: Okay, beach goddess attempt failed. Sand. EVERYWHERE. Found a nice spot, but I’m a red head. SUNBURN. Bad. Worse. I spent most of the afternoon frantically reapplying sunscreen and muttering about the evils of direct sunlight. Tried to swim. Got pummeled by a rogue wave. Felt like a drowned rat. Decided to go to a local cafe for a snack. Ended up ordering gazpacho (wrong choice!) and some sort of pastry which was probably delicious, but I was too salty and sunburned to notice.
- Evening: Back at the Apartamentos. More attempts at relaxation. Tried to read a book (gave up after two pages. Bored!). Fiddled with the TV (mostly in Spanish. Nope). Finally, took a long, cold shower to soothe the sunburn. The plan was to go out again for dinner but after more than an hour in front of the mirror, I realized I didn’t have enough energy to deal with people anymore, stayed in and ate stale crisps.
Day 3: The Llanes Cliff Walk, Food Adventures, and Existential Dread…Again.
- Morning: Decided to do something. Walk the Llanes cliff walk. It was amazing! Dramatic cliffs, crashing waves, beautiful views. I felt a fleeting moment of peace. Until I almost slipped and died. My balance is atrocious. Walked past the iconic breakwater. Saw the colorful cubes. Took approximately 7,000 photos. Was starting to think maybe I liked Spain.
- Afternoon: Food. Glorious food. Found a little sidrería. They were pouring cider the traditional way (holding it high, letting it splash into the glass). Tried it. Failed miserably. Ended up wearing most of the cider. Worth it. Ate fabada (the Asturian bean stew. Absolutely heavenly). Felt a surge of happiness. Then I accidentally spilled my drink on a poor woman and she just stared at me. I swear I ruin everything.
- Evening: Back at the Apartamentos. The silence. The endless silence. I started questioning my very existence, as one does when faced with enforced solitude. Spent an hour trying to download a movie, but the Wi-Fi is slower than molasses in January. Ordered a pizza, which was a culinary abomination. Started seriously missing my cat… and maybe, just maybe, the chaos of my regular life.
- Deeper Dive into the Existential Dread (Because Why Not?): Okay, this is where things got weird. Late that night, with the sound of the waves (finally!) washing over me, I started to realize that maybe, just maybe, I miss being challenged. Maybe, even though I'm constantly battling my own inner grumpy ogre, I don't mind the challenge of taking a trip alone. I have a job, a home, friends. This trip felt like I had the freedom to be a mess. Maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to be a total disaster.
Day 4: Caves, Caves, and More Caves (and a Renewed Sense of…Acceptance?)
- Morning: Since my luggage somehow made its way, I was happy and excited to visit a cave. It was an actual cave. Huge. Dramatic. Pretty spectacular. I actually felt a little… awestruck. Which is a rare thing for me. The tour guide spoke in rapid-fire Spanish, but I actually understood a decent amount. Victory!
- Afternoon: More caves! This time, the Cuevas de Tito Bustillo, with prehistoric cave paintings. Absolutely mind-blowing. The paintings are incredible, considering how old they are. I was so impressed that, for the first time ever, I actually didn't care when I got lost in a museum.
- Evening: Back at the Apartamentos. I realized I was less anxious. I had survived. I might even be enjoying myself. Had another (much less disastrous) tapas dinner. Walked back to the apartment feeling… almost at peace. The "rustic charm" of the place didn't bother me quite so much. Maybe it was the caves. Or the cider. Or the sheer, unadulterated aloneness. Whatever it was, I kinda liked it.
Day 5: Farewell Feast and the Fading of Flight Anxiety
- Morning: Final morning. Packed up my things. Said goodbye to the (slightly less awful) apartment. One last walk along the cliff walk. One last look at the sea. I was genuinely sad to leave.
- Afternoon: Found an AMAZING restaurant in Llanes. Ate everything. Paella. Tarta de Santiago. And a bottle of local wine. It was perfect. Truly perfect. For the first time on this trip, I felt content.
- Evening: The airport. The flight home. This time, I was ready. Sure, I'll probably lose my bags again, and the flight will be delayed. But I was ready. I had survived. I had seen the caves. I had eaten the food. I had, against all odds, had a decent time. I have a strange feeling Spain and I will meet again .
Final Thoughts:
This wasn’t a perfect trip. It was messy. It was imperfect. But that, I realized, is what made it so… real. And maybe, just maybe, that’s what I needed. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go unpack and start planning my next adventure. And next time, I'm definitely taking a bigger suitcase.
Escape to the Dolomites: Stunning Gitschberg Apartment Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Llanes, Spain - Maybe Paradise, Maybe Not? Let's Find Out...
Okay, Seriously, Is it *Actually* Paradise? Because "Luxury" and "Rural" can be Very Different Things...
Alright, alright, let's be real. Paradise? That's a *big* word. Llanes is gorgeous, don't get me wrong. Stunning coastline, green rolling hills... you can practically *smell* the fresh air. But the apartments? The "luxury" element is... present. Look, the photo in the brochure probably used a really wide-angle lens. My apartment? Cozy. Let's call it *efficiently* designed. Think ‘Pinterest Dreams’ meet ‘Budget Ikea Run’. Not complaining, just...setting expectations, you know?
The "rural" part? Spot on. You *will* hear the cows. And the occasional tractor rumbling past at, like, 6 AM. Bring earplugs. Seriously. I forgot mine the first night, and let's just say 'charming' quickly turned into 'violent resentment towards livestock'.
Anecdote: I had this *epic* moment where I thought I was going to be so zen, drinking my morning coffee on the balcony, bathed in sunshine. Instead, a particularly vocal sheep decided to stage a one-animal opera. Coffee went everywhere. Zen? Fuggedaboutit.
The Spa – Is it Worth the Hype (or the Extra Cost)? I've got a lot of Back Pain!
Okay, the spa. Now *this* is where things get tricky. The pictures? Gorgeous. The reality? Well... It's good. It’s not a *bad* spa, by any means. The massage I got was decent. The woman seemed to know her stuff. But were my back muscles completely transformed and I became a new, limber goddess? No. Did it make me forget the 6 am sheep symphony? Also, no.
The good: Clean, nice enough ambiance. Steam room was hot and steamy, the kind that makes you feel like you're in a giant, slightly scented hug.
The... less good: Pricing. It's not cheap. So, weigh out your options. If you're a spa fanatic, maybe. If you're like me, and just hoping for a decent massage to ease some post-travel tension? Consider it a luxury, not a necessity. Also, they ran out of the special, rose-infused mud mask. Which, honestly, felt like a personal affront.
Emotional reaction: I was mildly disappointed. I *wanted* to love it. I *needed* it to wash away the memory of the sheep choir. It just didn't quite deliver on the promise of complete and utter bliss. But hey, the water was warm, and I feel slightly less like a pretzel now.
The Apartments Themselves – What Should I REALLY Expect?
Let's talk specifics. The apartments are... mixed. Some are newer, some are older. Some have amazing views, some… don’t. (Ask for a view, people! Don’t settle!) My advice? Book the highest floor you can, and pray for a sunny balcony. The kitchen? Equipped with the basics. Don't expect to make gourmet meals unless you're *really* dedicated. I attempted nachos once, and let's just say, the cheese situation was...challenging.
Quirky Observation: The decor is...very Spanish countryside. Think lots of dark wood, slightly wonky ceramics, and maybe, just maybe, a painting of a bull. It's charming in a quirky, slightly Grandma's-house-but-with-a-view kind of way. Don't be surprised if the Wi-Fi is occasionally...iffy. You're in rural Spain, embrace the digital detox for a little bit, and don't expect to stream high-definition anything during peak hours, which, I suspect, is always.
Messy Truth:** The beds are reasonably comfy, which is a huge win. My shower sometimes had a little bit of a water pressure issue, though. That's the rural life for you! Plus, there's no air conditioning, which is fine *most* of the time. However, I imagine in July or August it might get a bit toasty at night.
Food and Drink – Where Can I Eat & Drink Without Getting Completely Ripped Off?
Llanes itself is a foodie paradise...or at least, a very tasty place to be, depending on where you look. The town has a ton of bars and restaurants, but get ready to do some walking. Here's the deal:
The Tourist Traps: Avoid the places right on the main square! They’re going to be expensive and, frankly, not that good.
Good Bets: Wander a little further. Look for the places that are buzzing with locals. Tapas are your friend, especially the seafood. Get the 'sidra' (cider)! It's the local drink, it's poured from up high (they do this intentionally to aerate it and make it bubbly), and it's delicious (and cheap-ish). Find a 'pulperia' (octopus specialty) place. Don't leave without trying the octopus.
My personal favorite: I found this little place a bit off the beaten path, it was called "Casa Pepa" or something similar. The portions were enormous, the staff was wonderfully surly (which is a good sign in Spain, I've found), and the seafood was unbelievably fresh. I ate there three times. Seriously, it's worth searching for (Google Maps is your friend!)
What About Activities? Is There Anything to *Do* Besides Sheep-Watch?
Oh, yes! Forget the sheep for a moment (I know, hard, right?). Llanes and the surrounding area offer tons of things to do. The coast is stunning. You can hike (amazing coastal trails!), go surfing (if you're brave), or just chill on one of the many beaches (and there are *many* beaches, all different).
Things to do I recommend:
- Walk the Paseo de San Pedro: It's a cliffside path with incredible views. Perfect for Instagram.
- Visit the Cubos de la Memoria (Memory Cubes): These colorful cube sculptures on the harbor are a must-see. Super Insta-worthy.
- Day trip to Covadonga: The Sanctuary of Covadonga is breathtaking (and has some great hiking nearby).
- Explore the nearby villages: Ribadesella and Cudillero are charming.
The Undeniably Amazing Coastal Hike: Okay, the *best* thing I did, hands down, was the coastal hike to the Bufones de Pria. I'm talking, wind in your hair, the sea exploding beneath you, cliff-hugging paths... breathtaking. It's rocky and a bit challenging, so bring sturdy shoes. You might have to park a wee bit before the start, it's not exactly a walk in the park, but wowHotel Deals Search
